I've said it time and time again. There is not a single lesson that I have learned in life that I didn't first learn (either consciously or unconsciously) in the boxing ring. Everything that happens in boxing, even the moments leading up to the fight, mirror the drama of everyday existence. The resemblance is uncanny. People who have never practiced martial arts or boxing may not be able to relate, but let me paint a picture for you.
Externally, life is a mere performance act. Everything you do is being watched by society around you and is being perceived. People notice and treat you in a specific way depending on how you look, how you dress, talk, and what your overall "status" or rank is in the hierarchy of society. Internally, life is a series of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Sometimes you fall in love with a kindred spirit and your flame rushes to meet there's, yet you quickly realize that the feeling is not mutual and you are crushed. Sometimes you feel a sense of "owning the world" when you achieve something, such as receiving your degree on graduation day, or getting married. But then, you reach another low when you cannot find a job with that degree or your wife divorce's you.
The highs and lows of life, the fickleness and absurd nature of it is of no secret to most of us who have ventured outside our shells. However, these highs and lows are blatantly and metaphorically expressed in the sport of boxing whereas in life there are more shades of gray to confuse us. Alas, if we mirror the lessons of life with the activity of boxing, the relatable emotional response can be very visceral and eye-opening.
As a boxer or martial artist, the external is very egotistical. Chest puffing, bulging muscles, trash talking, flashy shorts, colorful shoes, all as a means to portray themselves as a certain type of fighter, trying to get into the mind of their opponent. It is similar to the mating dance between potential lovers, there is a lot of "sizing up". Some boxers are very quiet and appear weak, but unleash fury in the ring. Whereas others are loud and boisterous, but are actually weak. Sometimes, especially when you have been a winning streak, you have an entourage of supporters. Yet, when you are down on your luck, sometimes even your coach will not show up to your fight, and you will see unfamiliar faces in your corner, or sometimes no faces at all.
As you are walking to the ring, the same feeling that you have when you approach a young lady with the intention of asking her for her phone number arises in your belly. You know that the next few minutes are either going to change your life for the better or you will be let down or hurt. The jitters are there, yet somehow, those who have the fighters mentality accept the temporary nature of their existence and are able to swallow away that lump in their throat, and accept the possible pain of the outcome. To the fighter, if you aren't challenging yourself then you are already dead, even if the challenge itself makes you internally scream, "Why am I doing this!?"
Fighters grow and develop just like children develop into adults. You only need to get punched in the face a few times to realize that it is a guy idea to either block or move out of the way of punches. But some of us are very stubborn, both as fighters and as people. As in life, it sometimes takes us being in a few toxic relationships to realize that the patterns you have been using just aren't working. In boxing, the best fighters are not the "brawlers" who just swing and hope something lands, no, the best boxers are the ones who pay attention to their opponent, make adjustments on the fly when mistakes are made, and they are able to capitalize on opportunities.
As in love, sometimes a boxer will open up his opponent and land a good shot, this raises his confidence and he then beings to unleash all of his energy onto his opponent. Sometimes he gets lucky and the opponent will accept his attack and give in. But, more often than not, the opponent, when attacked aggressively will cover up, runaway, and counter your wild movements with more precise ones. Eventually you tire out and are left with nothing. Just as in love, the intoxicating feeling of kissing another human being who is idealized in your mind as being "the one" can easily leave you subdued and taken advantage of if the feeling is not equally reciprocated, (and it rarely will be- life is full of rejection, get used to it.)
The best boxing matches to watch are the ones where both boxers want to engage! When no one is running and both are 100% committed to eachother in testing their wills. The best boxers respect eachother and want nothing more than to bring out the best in eachother. A boxer can only get stronger if he faces other strong boxers. As in love and business,the best relationships are the ones where there is equal consideration.
Then there are the boxers who are too passive and defensive. They know how to avoid attacks and recognize deception, but they can never achieve the KO victory because of their unwillingness to take a risk. Thus they live a safe, predictable and boring life whereas greatness is always just an inch too far away for them.
Sometimes in boxing, as in life, there are times when you get punched in the liver and the pain is so bad that you wish you would die; whereas the simple act of breathing becomes painful. Every thought in your mind tells you to go down and STAY DOWN! But, for the experienced boxer, he knows that if he remains steadfast, that this pain too shall pass in due time and he may have his chance later if he can somehow survive right now, so beyond the pain, he chooses to plant his feet and stay standing.
The heart of a boxer cannot be taught. The technique can, but the execution and motivation behind the punches belong solely to the boxer. Just as in life, a father can show his son the way, but his son must feel it for himself at some point.
Before the fight starts, you will have to deal with promoters posing as friends--who secretly just want to cash in and have no regard for your health, pressures to cheat using performance enhancing drugs, a coach who tries to develop a strategy for you, a jealous girlfriend who says that you are training too much and need to spend time with her, an old injury that won't seem to heal, a credit card bill that cannot seem to ever get paid... as in life, it is easy to get distracted from your task.
Yet, when the fight starts, and the bell rings, you have no choice but to put all that to the side and take care of the moment at hand that demands your full attention. You go into a meditative state. Some respond to the pressure and become poetic and light in their movement, almost as if the pressure is relaxing to them, sometimes too relaxing... relaxing enough to make a mistake!
Others get tense and feel like their hearts are going to explode and are stiff in their movements, yet after a few rounds they get used to it and begin to open up. Some fold under the pressure completely and lose it in the first round. You never know what insecurities may uncover themselves until you find yourself in a dangerous situation. Awareness is everything... awareness of not just your opponent, but yourself! Because you are your own opponent!
The boxing world is quite a circus and is a very lonely sport. It is a sport that has many role-players. Managers, coaches, commissions, sparring partners, sponsors... yet when it is all said and done, it will be you alone in the ring against another foe competing for the same glory. It isn't personal, it is almost like a form of "spiritual capitalism". Two people who are hunting for the same validation of their existence and honor in the form of combat. Your opponent is just a reflection of yourself really. Just as in sex, after you fight a human in the ring, you will know his/her heart in such an intimate way that only a select few people may ever know.
After fighting someone, you learn their heart, you learn their weak points and their strong points, you see their demeanor in the ring. Sometimes the fighters even feel pity for eachother, yet the survival of the fittest must go on. As in life, people play to their own benefit most of the time. It isn't selfishness, it is survival instinct. One of the mind games that people play in life is to cater to the needs of others instead of their pity, this is the best way to obtain favor.
In boxing, we call this a "feint" or a "lure", especially when we are facing an opponent who refuses to engage us. So we drop our hands, we appear weak, so that they can be enticed, yet the opponent, who often acts out of emotion will find himself the victim of a devastating punch that was set up all along.
Then there is the feeling of success. When a hard fought battle is won, and a crowd is cheering your name, it is truly an amazing feeling. It is like you are having passionate "pseudo-spiritual" love-making session with the entire arena. When you make true love with a woman, and you love her dearly, your souls become one and your existence feels somehow concretely "validated" and seems to transcend the fear of death, you feel "saved". Yet these intoxicating feelings are always temporary, which seeks us to chase it once again despite the pain and stress of it all.
Then there is defeat. It is similar to the empty feeling of a break-up. After months of training and sacrifice, you lose the fight. Sometimes fairly due to your opponent simply being a better fighter, or sometimes you are cheated out of a victory because of corrupt judges. Both types of defeat are emotionally brutal in their own ways which force the fighter to question his own existence. It sometimes takes weeks or even months to find the motivation to train for another bout, knowing that it could all just be for nothing like it was the last time. As in love, we sometimes fall so deeply in love with someone that when it ends, either through breakup or death, the prospect of finding love again seems like an overbearing and unreachable task.
So you see, when you view life through the lens of a boxer, the pain of a breakup or job loss is no different than being on the receiving end of a liver punch. Unless it kills you, then there will always be another round to fight. And if it brings permanent injury upon you, then this is when you become a teacher. Buddhist monks and other hermits are often times people with the most tragic pasts. They have endured so much pain, that they no longer wish to participate in the "fight for glory", but instead seek to become "coaches" instead to help those who are still participating in the absurdity of life and seeking glamorous adoration. The monk is wise and has already experienced that life, and he knows he cannot stop you, so he will do his best to show you how to mitigate and survive your fight. (at least a good coach would- ). Bad coaches and corrupt monks do exist!
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